Saturday, 27 September 2014


Dog hiding from cat
Beware! Theyre everywhere. They could be outside your front door. They could be in the middle of the shopping centre. They might even be on the other end of the phone or lurking in your mailbox. Theyre hecklers and theyre looking for new victims. They go by many aliases like telemarketers, Jehovas's, fundraisers or even salesmen. They strike dread into the heart of introverts everywhere. They block your path to the grocery store. They fill your mailbox with junk. They knock or phone when you're trying to nap. They make you buy or sign up for shit you dont even want. No one is safe to leave the house but even at home you arent safe from the hecklers. You hide in your house too afraid to answer the door or the phone. Well enough is enough! Its time to take a stand before they take over the world.

Heckler Survival Kit:
Cut off your home ph
Put a sleeping baby sign on the door when you are napping
Only give your mobile number to friends then you know not to bother answering the home phone
Get caller id
Pretend to be deep in conversation with your kid or on your phone as you walk past them in the shops
Get a peep hole installed
Get a no junk mail sign for your mailbox
Enrol in ninja school and learn how to sneak past people without being noticed
If you do happen to answer the phone, hang up straight away. These people will not take no for an answer.
Pretend to look extremely interested in an outfit in the dress shop in the opposite direction

Good luck and stay strong in the fight against the dreaded heckler invasion.

(But seriously, these people annoy the crap out of me. Its downright ridiculous and rude that we have to avoid them at every turn.)

Comment below with your survival tips.

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