Sunday, 26 October 2014

Toby Girl

I first got Toby when i went to do work experience at a kindy. She was pet of the week because her owners couldnt sell her to the pet shop. She had a bent tail and enjoyed rounding up the kids by nipping their heels. Lol. I had always desperately wanted a dog, although id had lots of other small pets. Dad was always against it though for some reason. Luckily he was away on a hunting trip at the time. I adored Toby, who came to live with me in about year 10 or 11.

However, i soon met a new best friend who introduced me to parties, smoking, drinking, weed and boys. I finally felt like one of the cool kids but i forgot who i truly was, in the process. My new lifestyle meant that i soon had less time for Toby. Mum and dad were always at work so they never had much time for her either but i think they always tried to walk her. Maybe they had been right all along about not getting a dog.

I soon met my first serious boyfriend, who was into all the same stuff my old best mate had been, only worse. It wasnt long before we moved in together and were constantly moving from house to house and in and out of home too. Over the next 5 or 6 years, my life was consumed by my obsession with my boyfriend. My life was dramatic and quickly going downhill. I was overweight, depressed, friendless, broke, constantly fighting, jobless and hated myself so much that i couldnt even be bothered to brush my teeth. Luckily Toby never lived with us during this time, for various reasons. When my boyfriend left me suddenly and nastily, i moved back home and Toby and i were together again. But now i was obsessed with moving to the Gold Coast, despite mum and dads advice. I was devastated about the breakup and felt the worst pain i have ever been in. Toby helped me to get through it by taking me on long bush walks together where i could sing my heart out.

I only survived at the coast for a year, which was just as bad as my life had been before. I was crashed into, broke, depressed, in debt, broken into and friendless. While i was there, i bought a new dog, Cloe. I had wanted to take Toby but felt that she would hate it there. Cloe was the only good thing in my life at that time. While i was there, Toby was hit by a car and was euthanised. She was only 7.

Last night i lay randomly thinking about Tobys life and suddenly realised what a terrible friend i had been to her. Cloe has had a similar life with me, due to my partying, having a baby, living at the coast with me and me meeting my husband, although she has been with me a bit more. Sam has mostly had it pretty good because life is alot more settled now, apart from the kids of course. My fur kids have all been with me through some of the hardest times in my life.

Ive always considered myself an animal lover but now that i reflect on the past, i realise that i havnt always lived up to my name. I know that all my fur kids understand and forgive me and know how sorry i am. Thats the beauty of animals. They love unconditionally, which makes it easier for us to take them for granted, etc. So, i vow, from this moment on, to do a better job of living up to my name. I am so grateful for all my fur kids and all of nature. They have touched my life in so many ways and helped me to survive life so far.

Comment below about your fur kids or past reflections.

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