Saturday, 6 December 2014

3 Biggest Issues

Simons-marriage, parenting, finances.
Solutions-he is an adult so i cant change things for him but his issues do affect us too. If i make more effort with the marriage, then hopefully he will too.

I try to lead by example with the parenting but he still seems to think his way is best. I try to compliment his positive efforts and intervene when he acts negatively and correct him or take over, which he probably hates. Maybe i need to deal with situations before he gets involved but i cant be there all the time. Ive tried relating how he speaks to brooklyn, to the way his boss speaks to him. Maybe i could ask him for ideas to help him remember to be nicer or why he thinks he acts in certain ways. I kept reminding him about sending her to her room instead of smacking and he usually does that now. So maybe its just a matter of repitition and being firmer about both issues.

I got annoyed about the $ but the bills always end up getting paid without me having to worry about them, his licence is his problem, the things he sold were his, his overdrawn account is his problem, im having the baby so i will be using the $ for the air con, i have some spending and saving $ each week at least, everything else important is always taken care of. I just need to let him fix his own $ problems and be firm about using my $ for me, etc.

Amy-boundaries, self care, taking action.
I need to remember to be loving but firm and that its not being mean, its being kind to myself because i deserve not to be taken advantage of. I have to remember that people will respect me more and they will become better people by not always being pandered to. I need to make time for myself regularly, to get out of the house alone and get pampered or something. I need to take up a hobby so i have time for myself like simon does with his motorbike riding. Take action in small steps.

Brooklyn-anger, seperation, toileting
Solutions-apparently they will poop in the toilet when theyre ready. She will get used to being away from me again when kindy starts back. I just have to be persistent with her and maybe leave her with her dad more often. We will both have to learn to deal with it once the baby comes. If daddy can learn to be nicer and more fun, she will be happier to stay with him.

She gets put in her room when she gets too angry, so hopefully she will realise it has to stop. I also think its good for her to let it out safely and maybe once she matures more, emotionally, she will find it easier to be angry without needing to scream. I think that finding her a way to physically let it out, could be helpful too.things like scribbling, ripping paper, hitting a pillow, running around, etc. I try to help her in my own ways but she needs to learn to help herself.

Comment below with your top 3 issues and how youre working on them.

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